..1 You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.3. You think Central Park is “nature.”4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.5. You’ve worn out a car horn. (IF you have a car.)6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression-OR-You can retire to Michigan where...1. You only have three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.2. Halloween costumes have to fit over parkas.3. You have seventeen recipes for casserole.4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.5. The four seasons are: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road repair.-OR-You can retire to The Deep South where...1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.2 “Y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.3. “He needed killin” is a valid defense.4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy. He lays his throbbing cock across your face and, holding you by the back of your head, uses your face to massage his balls on your nose and the outside of his urethra on your lips and chin. Staring at your stuffed little belly, he climaxes quickly. He shoves his bulky cock head forcefully against your left nostril and pumps half your nose full of thick, thick cum. The smell of his balls as he uses your face reminds you of home for some reason. When he cums in your nose, the pressure is warm and pleasant, and you enjoy the cum slowly dripping onto the back of your tongue. Time to shut your pussy.The rolling pin has been sitting on the gas stove for 30min before Chef puts it on the black table, next to your hips, using thick black gloves. The rolling pin is minimalist, just a long thin steel cylinder. Now it is glowing pretty shades of white, yellow, orange and red. It sits there on the table, sizzling. You stare at it as if it's alive and staring back at you. You can feel it's warmth.
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